The Discipline of Response

And the gross benefit of it

Olabanji Stephen
2 min readJan 25


It might be satisfying to respond in the heat of a conversation or an argument, even more satisfying when you have the tools (words) to do the damage but that satisfaction can be costly.

It can be you choosing the argument over the relationship.

Strength is not necessarily the ability to inflict or execute pain, it’s the capacity to be able to inflict pain and hold back regardless…


Because you’re considering the feelings of the other person (right at the point of response). You are that grounded and intelligent.

Because you consider the long-term effect your words might have. You care. You’re considerate.

Because the trust they have in you still matters to you. And that’s easier to break than it is to fix.

Because even in wrong, you seek to protect the other person.

Because you care. Because it’s who you are.

Weakness also shows up in guns and words… and your unguardedness really shows up in the moments your emotions are heightened

You are really strong when you stay in control.

The hack is to breathe, then think, then speak (or act).

I wrote a book on showing up, creating meaning, and staying productive. And it has helped hundreds of people. Get it here at any amount you choose.



Olabanji Stephen

I see the world differently and attempt to interpret it in ways that inspire genius